Why Rest Isn’t Helping Your Exhaustion: Hidden Causes of Fatigue

When you’re living with ongoing fatigue, yet more rest still isn’t making a difference, it can feel confusing, isolating, and so discouraging. I’ve supported women through this kind of exhaustion, and I’ve moved through my own seasons of it too. It’s far more common and far more complex than most people realise.

You might be doing all the “right” things; making sure you’re having early nights, slow weekends, lighter schedules, but somehow you’re just not recovering.

So you think ok, I’m not well, I’ll go to the doctor. Often though, medical checks return normal results, and it leaves you with no clear explanation. If you’ve gone on the journey long enough you’ll wonder is it stress, hormones, food, or sleep… yet even when adjustments are made, time passes and energy levels still don’t improve.

The unfortunate thing is, exhaustion is rarely caused by one thing. The strain often builds over time, influenced by patterns, environments, emotional load, and the way your nervous system has had to cope. It takes time and a critical lens to really understand what’s happening, and when you’re immersed in it, it can be hard to do yourself.

Even so, there are always adjustments that can be made that you might not have yet thought of. Below are some key areas worth exploring.

1. What relationships are draining you?

Emotional labour, unspoken expectations, people-pleasing, and generally feeling responsible for others can deplete you, even when you think you’re on top of it all. When you’re constantly “holding” others and preempting how to respond to difficult situations, your nervous system stays on alert, reducing your overall capacity.

Sometimes exhaustion isn’t about what you’re doing physically or mentally, but in interactions you’re continually managing, impacting your emotional resilience.

2. How much of your day is spent in stress mode?

Being in a state of long-term stress becomes almost invisible when it’s your normal. Many women function on adrenaline for months or even years while juggling work, societal expectations, perfectionism traits, and emotional circumstances. If you think about it, if your normal is to be go, go, go, you might think “I’m just wired that way”, but what is also possible is that it’s your nervous system being heightened, and it’s become such a familiar state to you that it feels normal.

When adrenaline is the dominant fuel source, your body can’t truly repair, digest, or replenish. You may be “resting,” but internally you’re still switched on.

3. Are your daily rhythms inconsistent?

Your body relies on predictable patterns. Irregular sleep times, skipped meals, variable work hours, caffeine spikes, and inconsistent wind-down routines can all disrupt your natural ability to restore. It’s not about being perfect and having set times for everything, but overall keeping some consistency so that the body knows what to expect, and doesn’t overcompensate in one area because another is depleting. Stability is soothing for the nervous system and exhaustion can reflect a long season of living out of sync.

4. Is there fulfilment in your life?

Burnout isn’t just about doing too much. It’s also about doing too little of what nourishes you.

A lack of meaningful connection, creativity, joy, or variety can slowly drain that energy that comes naturally when feeling alive from life. Exhaustion can show up when life feels flat, repetitive, or disconnected from who you are. Creativity is an understated aspect of this. Having something that you are passionate about as a creative activity can do wonders, and it’s often the first thing put aside for other commitments.

5. Have you been under chronic stress or ongoing strain?

Illness, family dynamics, grief, caregiving, financial pressure, or prolonged uncertainty all place stress on the body. Even when the situation passes, your system may remain in “survival mode,” unable to bounce back.

Often there’s one final event that tips your body from managing the stress load to no longer having the capacity for the load.

Please remember though, It doesn’t mean it’ll be like this forever, it may be that you’re in a period where you’re overloaded and the body has said — no more stress please, I’m going to force you to hibernate before this storm passes.

So why isn’t rest enough?

Because rest only works when your body feels safe enough to receive it. When your system is dysregulated, overwhelmed, or depleted, rest becomes a pause, not a repair. What the body needs is a proper environment to actually rest and repair.

What can you do when you’re this exhausted?

1. Create space for genuine rest, not just sleep

Holistic rest includes:

• emotional rest (less giving, more conserving)

• sensory rest (reducing stimulation)

• creative rest (sourcing inspiration instead of performance pressure)

• social rest (boundaries, space, honest communication)

• physical rest (movement that restores rather than drains)

Importantly, this isn’t about trying harder and creating more to-do lists. It’s letting yourself soften into doing less.

2. Simplify your commitments

This may look like:

• taking space from certain relationships

• stepping back from obligations or social pressure

• requesting sick leave or reduced hours

• letting others know you can’t support them as you usually do

• delegating tasks that no longer align with your capacity

And remember, this isn’t selfish. It’s a necessary conservation of energy. Those who matter won’t mind, and those who mind, well, there may be some misalignment there or a conversation needed to reach mutual understanding.

3. Rebuild your foundations gently

Focus on slow, steady consistency rather than dramatic changes.
Supportive foundations include:

• a predictable sleep rhythm

• nourishment that stabilises your system

• grounding practices for your nervous system

• movement that feels supportive, not depleting

• meaningful connection in small, manageable doses

Tiny, sustainable steps matter more than perfect routines.

4. Allow this to be a season of recovery

Your body is asking for patience, time and space. Healing from fatigue like this isn’t linear, it’s a letting go process and then a gradual recalibration. Give yourself permission to take your time. Honour the symptoms your mind and body are giving you and respond accordingly. Be compassionate with yourself. You didn’t ask for this, and you will get through it.

If you’re looking for someone to guide you, I’m here.

You don’t have to navigate this alone and you don’t have to pretend you’re ok. To help you with rebuilding your energy and restore your wellbeing you can book a session online, or reach out if you’d like to talk through what working together might look like.

With love and healing,

Samara